Anyway, last night I had a vivid dream about a scene from The League. Since I've seen all the shows, I know this isn't an actual scene from the show, but it played out just like it. So, I've decided to try and transcribe it here.
FADE IN:
INT. KEVIN AND JENNY'S BEDROOM
KEVIN and JENNY are in their bed having sex.
JENNY
OH MY GOD! YES BABY!
As JENNY screams, KEVIN has a triumphant look on his face.
EXT. KEVIN AND JENNY'S HOUSE
JENNY
Kevin, what the hell are you doing?!?
EXT. GIBSON'S BAR
PETE AND RUXIN are laughing.
PETE
You did what?
INT. GIBSON'S BAR
KEVIN
(shamefully)
I did the Ickey Shuffle
RUXIN
And why were you doing the Ickey
Shuffle?
KEVIN
After Jenny had an orgasm, I guess I
got excited and decided to celebrate.
PETE
So you did an endzone celebration
while you were having sex? And a
remarkably outdated one at that.
KEVIN
Yes.
ANDRE approaches with a glass of wine.
ANDRE
What are we talking about?
PETE
Kevin gave his wife an orgasm and
decided to do the Ickey Shuffle to
celebrate.
RUXIN
Yeah, I'd throw a flag for
unsportsmanlike conduct for that.
ANDRE
Well, I'm old school. Just hand the
ball to the ref. Act like you've been
there before and you plan to come
back.
RUXIN
Well, that leaves Andre out.
PETE
So, I've done the endzone celebration
during sex too.
KEVIN
So, what's your sexual endzone
celebration.
PETE
I pulled out a Sharpie and signed my
condom like TO.
RUXIN, KEVIN and ANDRE gasp in disgust.
ANDRE
Wait, where did you pull out the
Sharpie from?
As PETE gives a sly grin, RUXIN, KEVIN and ANDRE turn and gag
with dry heaves.
KEVIN
That is disgusting Pete.
PETE
WHAT! She was from France, I thought
that's how they did it. Anyway, you
didn't seem to notice.
KEVIN
What are you taking about? Wait, not my
Big Bertha? Oh God.
RUXIN
I did the props once, got out my cell
phone and made a call like Joe Horn.
KEVIN
Who did you call?
RUXIN
Andre's mom.
ANDRE
Ok. Haha.
PETE
So, did she pick up?
RUXIN
No, I just handed her the phone.
ANDRE
Ok, that's not funny.
RUXIN
Take it easy Andre, I wasn't having
sex with your mom. I was having sex
with your sister, your mom was just
watching.
ANDRE lets out a groan as the rest laugh.
RUXIN
No, about all I can get away with is
doing a haka.
KEVIN
That dance thing the rugby players do
before the games?
RUXIN
Yeah, Sophia says that if I use props,
I'm just bringing attention to myself,
it's not about the team success.
TACO creeps up behind Kevin
TACO
Hey guys, what are we talking about?
KEVIN
JESUS, TACO!
PETE
Sexual endzone celebrations.
ANDRE
Yeah, Kevin does the Ickey Shuffle,
Pete uses props and I just say act
like you've been there and you plan to
go back.
KEVIN
Jeez, Andre. You sound just like
those cranky old white dudes you see
on TV, "Football was much better back
in my day before helmets, cheerleaders
and the forward pass."
TACO
No, no, Andre's right.
ANDRE
Thank, you Taco.
TACO
No problem. If we're talking about
Andre's mom's endzone, I've been there
before. And I definitely plan on
going back.
ANDRE drops his head and lets out a groan.Now, that's a pretty long scene. But that was pretty much my dream. I've tacked some stuff in some spots, but this shows just how crazy my dreams are. Here's just a little clip from the show to give you an idea of what it's like.
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